


Simply Complicated

by terushimas



Series: Simply Complicated Universe, Including Drabbles [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends AU, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manga Spoilers, slightly angsty, slightly fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:57:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7208675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terushimas/pseuds/terushimas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one thing Terushima always wanted was a carefree life: casual friends, decent weather, little responsibilities—that’s what made falling in love so painful. Nothing about the feeling was simple—the feeling in his stomach, the racing thoughts, and the sleepless nights were pretty bad—but the worst of it all was that he fell in love with his best friend. Nothing about the situation was simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Simply Complicated

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic! as a founding father of the terushou ship, I thought it was necessary to write a fic, no matter how bad my writing is. lmao so,, im sorry if this sucks and is inconsistent,, if youre not caught up on the manga to ch 206 there are spoilers!

The one thing Terushima always wanted was a carefree life: casual friends, decent weather, little responsibilities—that’s what made falling in love so painful. Nothing about the feeling was simple—the feeling in his stomach, the racing thoughts, and the sleepless nights were pretty bad—but the worst of it all was that he fell in love with his best friend. Nothing about the situation was simple. 

He finally accepted the feeling when he got off the three hour train ride from Miyagi to Tokyo and was greeted by the small, soft smile on his friend’s face; the sharpness of his smile stuck daggers in Terushima’s heart and took his breath away. The same smile he only saw a few times a year in person was ten meters in front of him and he thought _Holy fuck, I’ve missed you so much._ The hug he gave his friend, Daishou, was the tipping point of his realization. 

Walking to his old neighborhood where the two boys grew up together brought up feelings that were too nostalgic and too complicated; he swallowed those not-so-simple emotions and told himself to be the same carefree person he always is, always has been. It wasn’t so hard when Daishou walked next to him, constantly talking without a single breath of silence. Terushima carried his bags up the small, cracking concrete walkway as Daishou opened the door to his house; to Terushima, some things, like this, never seem to feel changed. 

The house still smelled suspiciously of fresh lilacs; the sweetness of the atmosphere always seemed to wash away any anxiety Terushima ever felt. He remembered having Daishou bandage him up whenever he got hurt playing in the yard, sitting in the kitchen and having the sweet smell calm him as his sobs turned to quiet sniffles and Daishou’s annoyed tone turned gentle as the neon, always neon band aid was placed on his cut. Terushima remembered burying his head into the lilac-scented bedsheets as he cried and screamed about how “It’s not fair that I have to leave, Shou-chan! I don’t want to move!” and Daishou sat in the corner, wordless and unmoving. 

As sweet as the smell was, it always seemed to carry a bitterness, too. 

Terushima was staying with Daishou for a week or two and arrived just in time for the Tokyo preliminaries; he wanted nothing more than to watch Daishou play volleyball, the sport that brought them together. For Terushima, he got over his loss quickly, since he has one more year to play at Johzenji; Daishou didn’t have that privilege—this was his last chance to make it to nationals and prove himself. For Daishou, the next few days would be hell but Terushima knew he would be dead before he showed his anxiousness about it. 

They lazed around in Daishou’s room talking absently about nothing important; all of the important things were either never said or were in their daily texts. It’s not as if they were childhood friends who stopped being friends; they didn’t need to catch up on these weeklong visits because they were already caught-up on each other’s lives. Terushima talked about small things, like friends, television shows, and music he liked, but Daishou only ever wanted to talk about two things: volleyball and girls. Terushima was intelligent, to say the least, and Daishou was no idiot either; he knew Daishou only talked about these things because he wanted to seem like he was impressive.

Terushima hated how he always tried to prove himself; they weren’t idiots, but sometimes they acted as such. 

No matter how much he hated the ramblings about girls, ex-girlfriends, and more girls, Terushima still listened. Slowly the banter died in their mouths, obvious that the other wasn’t interested in the conversation. Terushima laid on his back on Daishou’s bed, head over the side so his bleached hair dangled in the air; Daishou’s cat, Orochi (named after the snake or the Naruto character, Terushima didn’t know) laid on his stomach and purred gently as Terushima pet him. Daishou propped himself against the side of the bed, sitting on the floor next to Terushima’s head, video game controller in hand. 

As his eyes drifted shut in the warmth and calmness of Daishou’s room, Terushima began nodding off, only to be knocked out of the blissful feeling by fingers gently brushing through his hair. “I haven’t felt your hair since before you dyed it,” Daishou said, quieter than usual. “It’s softer than it looks.” Terushima opened his eyes and glanced in Daishou’s direction, not able to get a clear read on his emotions. He breathed out a small laugh in response.

As soon as the feeling of Daishou’s fingers brushing through his hair became relaxing, he suddenly stopped and unpaused his video game as if it hadn’t happened. The clicking of buttons covered up the silence between the two boys as thoughts drifted and the atmosphere grew more awkward by the second. Terushima opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t find any words to break the silence. Without looking in his direction, Daishou began talking with a serious tone in his voice. “I remember how before you moved away... how you always complained about your hair; you said it was always too dark and plain. You may be a simple guy, but this complicated haircut suits you, Teru-chan.” 

The compliment caught Terushima so off-guard he managed a small blush that dusted across his cheeks. To hear a compliment from Daishou was not rare, but to hear a genuine compliment leave the boy’s mouth felt like a myth since it was almost unheard of. To hide his embarrassment, Terushima chuckled. “Sometime’s I don’t understand you,” he said honestly. “You’re a little weird, but I like it that way.” Their eyes met and Daishou’s mouth upturned into a small, albeit devilish-looking smile and the silence that was awkward moments ago drifted away and the serene, relaxing atmosphere returned once again as Terushima closed his eyes, thinking only of the other boy’s smile. 

Later in the night, Terushima, along with Orochi, moved to the guest bedroom to sleep; many things had unsettled him. For one, the guest bedroom, unlike the rest of the house, smelled of forget-me-nots instead of lilacs; it was a very faint scent, but easily detectable after spending hours in a house that smelled only of lilac. Secondly, there was only one day until Daishou’s volleyball tournament, and quite honestly Terushima didn’t know what to think; he had never seen his friend play during his time at Nohebi—he only heard stories. He wasn’t unsettled about Daishou’s performance, since he had managed to make it as a top four team, but Terushima was afraid to see how his play style evolved and changed from the one they created together: the one Terushima uses at Johzenji.

Admittedly, Terushima didn’t like the third topic that unsettled him. He hated talking about his faults and admitting them to be true, but despite the pain and denial, he does it anyway. I’m in too deep, he thinks. 

_I’m in love with my best friend._

He waited for the pain to settle in, for these complex feelings to tear out his heart, but nothing happened. Instead of emotional agony, he felt some relief; it took him years to admit the feelings he’s been carrying for Daishou. Those years of stolen glances, brain-wracking longing, and stirring jealousy lead up to this weirdly painless feeling of love. Terushima glanced at the cat who curled up at his side and smiled. “These feelings are just as weird as he is, aren’t they?” The cat didn’t respond and this wasn’t the end of his unrequited love, but at least Terushima knew he was somewhere in between the beginning and ending of the phrase “I love you.”

The next morning Terushima woke up and felt like the world was crushing him; and then he realized that it wasn’t the world, just Daishou. “Teru-chan _get up_ I want to take you places before I have to go to practice!” At that point, Daishou was bouncing on the bed, trying to be as annoying as possible. Unfortunately for him Terushima was awake enough to knock him onto his ass, landing straight on the bed as he yelped in surprise. Daishou whined the entire morning as Terushima teased him senselessly about the whole event. 

They stopped in a small cafe and bought coffee and scones for breakfast; the talked casually as they walked through a park and enjoyed the intermingling of the sweet scone and bitter coffee. The morning sun illuminated the autumn scenery of the park; the radiant morning light embellished the burn gold and light brown leaves as they danced in the wind of the early-morning autumn day; Terushima couldn’t help but think of Daishou’s eyes while looking at the scenery: swirling shades of brown intertwined with flecks of gold throughout the irises. 

Terushima’s eyes intently watched Daishou as he talked about the cafe they went to, and he noticed that he was wearing the scarf Terushima had bought him for his birthday the year before. The wind blew enough to cause Daishou’s cheeks and nose to redden; he laughed but didn’t point it out to Daishou simply because the boy would get embarrassed about it. _He would hate it, but it suits him_ , Terushima thought as Daishou hit him lightly for laughing at him. 

Daishou showed him around a small area of Tokyo before he had to leave for practice; Terushima was a little sad to see him leave, but he knew Daishou would be in higher spirits once practice was over. They walked to Nohebi’s gym together and, after greeting the other team members, Terushima left to hang out with Kuroo for a bit without Daishou, his mortal enemy, knowing. 

While on the short walk over to Kuroo’s house, Terushima called another friend for help with his recently accepted crush. He dialed Oikawa’s number and was answered almost immediately. “Hey Oikkun.”

“Yuuji-kun, I told you not to call me that, it’s ugly! What did you need? Coming to Oikawa-senpai for some advice, I see!”

“I’m in love with Shou-chan.”

“Suguru-chan? You’re so blunt, Yuuji-kun! At least you finally admitted it to yourself.”

“Yeah, it took awhile, I know. Anyways Oikkun, I need to know: how did you and Iwaizumi-kun start dating? Who confessed first and was it mutual, all of that.” He waved his hands in the air, but Oikawa couldn’t see the gesture.

“Well you see, we didn’t really confess to each other; we just sorta kissed each other one day and then told each other how we felt. If you want to know, Iwa-chan had a crush on me first! You should really be asking Makki and Mattsun, they had it _really_ bad! It’s not very good for advice, but Mattsun ended up confessing through... memes? Is that what they’re called?”

A distant voice in the background, probably belonging to Iwaizumi, shouted at Oikawa “Yes, you know what a meme is don’t pretend like you don’t! And you’re lying, you totally had a crush on me first!”

Oikawa was about to yell back, but Terushima quickly diverted his attention. “I don’t mean to cut off your lover’s quarrel, but I’m still waiting for your advice. I need help because I’m in love with my best friend and I thought you were the best choice.”

“I’m touched! Well, besides looking through his instagram, I don’t know anything about the kid besides that he’s decently cute! If you think there’s a chance that he likes you too then I say go for it!”

Terushima sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Alright, if that’s the best you can give me. Tell Iwaizumi-kun I say hello! Goodbye, Oikkun.” As he hung up his phone, Terushima approached Kuroo’s house, excited to see his childhood friend for the first time in ages. 

Terushima expected nothing less of Kuroo when it came to greetings, so he wasn’t surprised to find himself in a bear hug with the other boy and was even less surprised to find Kenma peeking his head out from behind the door’s entrance. After a small conversation between the two energetic boys, Kenma went back inside with a polite hello and a small smile (not a smile, but a Kenma Smile), leaving the two others alone. 

Terushima was about to ask what Kuroo had planned for them, but then he noticed the volleyball in his hands and Terushima’s face lit up with a smile. “Since Kenma doesn’t want to come, I was thinking we could play some volleyball in the park down the street, one on one,” Kuroo said, knowing the other’s answer would be yes. “It’s not a far walk so we’ll have plenty of time to play before you have to leave.” 

As they walked down the street, Terushima got the courage to talk to Kuroo about The Sensitive Subject. “So, Tetsu-chan...” he started, getting a concerned look from Kuroo. “When was the last time you talked to Shou-chan?” 

The moment he finished his question, Terushima immediately regretted it; Kuroo looked like an angry cat—claws out, fangs bared, and ready to pounce. “I don’t talk _to_ that scrub, because whenever I see him he can’t shut his mouth!” After a few seconds of fuming, he calmed down and continued. “I haven’t talked to him since we figured out that both of us were going to the prelims. Why are you asking, Terushima? Did he put you up to this? Is he trying to get under my skin already?”

Terushima laughed lightly at Kuroo’s reaction. “No, I was just wondering, since I’m staying with him and all,” he said, hesitating on the next words. “Does he ever talk about me to you?” 

Biting his lip in hesitation, Terushima waited silently as Kuroo thought to himself. “Now that I think about it, he might mention you a bit... I’m not sure, I don’t remember our conversations very well; at least, I don’t _try_ to, since we always end up arguing,” Kuroo said, giving Terushima The Look. 

“Look, I’m not going to say it again! I don’t see why it’s so important to you guys, but no one cares about your opinions of the Naruto ending.”

“Okay, _clearly_ Naruto and Hinata’s relationship makes sense, I don’t see why that little scrub tries to attack it every time we have a conversation! Clearly Naruto and Sasuke aren’t g—”

Terushima, visibly frustrated by Kuroo’s ranting, grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes; he yelled, “I’m in love with Daishou Suguru and I don’t know what to do!” 

The only sound heard besides the bustling of the city around them was the drop of Kuroo’s volleyball as his mouth opened in shock. “No... no!” Kuroo yelled, upset by Terushima’s outburst. “I can’t believe it...”

A worried look finds its way to Terushima’s face. “Kuroo, I’m sor—”

“I can’t believe Kenma won the bet!” Kuroo yelled in frustration.

“The bet?”

“We’ve had this bet for three years! Kenma bet that one of you would get a crush on the other one, but I _believed_ in you, Terushima! I said ‘No, Kenma, Terushima is better than that. I bet they won’t ever like each other!’ Look at us now! Man, Kenma’s gonna rub this in my face for weeks!” 

At this point, Terushima didn’t know whether to laugh or be upset by the whole situation, so he just laughed and punched Kuroo on the shoulder. Kuroo picked up his volleyball and they began walking once again, only to have Kuroo break the silence shortly after. “You were being serious, right? You actually like Daishou?”

A sigh escaped Terushima’s lips as he began to speak. “I sort of accepted it yesterday, but I’ve kinda liked him for a long time now,” He paused, searching for the right words. “I’ve accepted it but I don’t feel any different than before; I tried getting advice from Oikkun but he was no help. I just... I don’t know what to do. I’ve never been this pessimistic before.”

Kuroo padded him on the back empathetically. “I wish Kenma came with, because this is more of his thing, but I’ll try,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “I’ll be real with you, Terushima. We’ve all known each other for a long time, so you know how Daishou is just as well as I do. He can be a nice person, but he gets emotionally detached easily and he doesn’t like to be serious; Daishou can be capricious and unpredictable and if that scares you, then drop him. If you’re willing to work with him, however, then go for it. He can be a real pain in the ass, but you probably know that yourself.”

Terushima groaned in frustration. “But how do I know if it’s mutual!”

Out of confusion, Kuroo stared at him for a few seconds only to burst out in laughter. “Mutual? He’s liked you for _years_! The only reason Kenma hasn’t won the bet until now is because Daishou would rather die than admit that to me! Man Terushima, you’re dense!” 

Terushima’s face went red with embarrassment as Kuroo’s hard pat on the back only made the blush worse. The two boys changed topics fairly quickly, soon only talking about volleyball as they reached the park; playing volleyball with Kuroo had managed to ease Terushima’s thoughts about everything Daishou related, relaxing his anxiety about the whole situation. 

After spending a while in the park Kuroo’s phone rang, playing a terrible rendition (was that a recorder?) of a Legend of Zelda song, which Terushima could only assume was Kenma’s ringtone. “Hey, Kenma just texted me,” Kuroo read the text aloud. “‘You should get going if you want to hang out with me. I’m getting bored and I want to buy a new video game.’ Fuck, I promised him I would take him to buy a new game. You don’t mind if we call it a day, do you?”

Terushima went to pick up the stray volleyball. “We got a whole ‘nother week to hang out, I don’t mind; your boyfriend’s more important! ‘Sides, I should get going if I have to meet Shou-chan after practice.” Kuroo gave him a smirk at the mention of Daishou, only to get a volleyball to the stomach as a reply. 

The walk back to Kuroo’s house was pleasant, but Terushima felt uneasy; the enjoyment of playing volleyball was wearing thin and the overwhelming thoughts about Daishou started to return. He had so many questions—Isn’t Daishou into Girls? Out of everyone, how could Daishou like him? How would their relationship change? How would they keep the long-distance relationship up? 

By the time he reached Kuroo’s front door again, he felt like he was going to collapse from thinking too much; this was worse than his calculus 2 homework. Fighting off the urge to fall to the ground and scream, Terushima said goodbye to Kenma and Kuroo, which the latter had somehow managed to run inside and give Kenma a hug before Terushima could let out a single syllable. 

The walk to Nohebi seemed like it took longer than it should have. Terushima’s heart felt like it was in knots and his lungs acted as if he had just ran a marathon. All of the questions and what-ifs loomed above his head; the only cloud in the sky was above him and it made him feel like the world was out to get him. 

The birds stopped chirping tunes and the wind picked up around him; the leaves crunched under each step and with each passing moment his mood seemed to decline. He wondered if this was what it felt like to be alone and guideless. 

It was as if a snake was trying to squeeze him to death. He saw the school but felt paralyzed with fear or rejection, of disgust, of embarrassment, of _Daishou_. Despite his inner turmoil, he kept walking to the gym doors as the snake wrapped tighter and tighter around his body. 

He swung the doors open to the sight of sun patches pouring through the windows with floating dust particles in an unnatural quietness—no volleyballs bouncing, squeaking of sneakers, or boys yelling. Terushima looked to his left to see the volleyball team in a circle on the floor on the far end of the gym with Daishou being the only one standing. He wondered if that’s what he looked like when he was the one addressing his team at practice before their match against Karasuno—confident, collected and optimistic in every possible way, sure that the team would do their best and win. 

He clenched his shirt by his heart, hoping that Daishou doesn’t have to watch his team fall apart at the seams, crying and screaming in a locker room full of self-hate and disappointment. Terushima hoped that his friend doesn’t have to stay strong during that, only to go home after the match and lay on his bed motionless, quietly sobbing with tears running down his face for hours on end like he did. 

Daishou didn’t see him, didn’t hear the door open or close. He’s too focused on his teammates, on _winning_ , to notice, but Terushima understood. He stood there quietly, waiting patiently for the meeting to end while quietly admiring Daishou. His usually-neat hair was brushed back, probably coated in sweat. His tank top, _the_ tank top, with the douchey-looking ripped armholes and faded color, was the same one he wore to every practice (the matching one Terushima bought him before he moved away) along with his black basketball shorts. He’s not muscled in the slightest and isn’t lean like Terushima, but he’s thin and fit and pale but not too pale and Terushima can’t keep his eyes from wandering. 

Everyone stood up and huddled together, shouting something so incoherent Terushima couldn’t make out what they said. Some boys went to grab cleaning equipment while the others headed to the locker room, but Terushima’s eyes followed Daishou who walked towards a girl that he hadn’t seen before.

She was attractive in every aspect and the light bounced off her skin in all the right ways, making her glow like some kind of goddess. Terushima watched them talk, heart hurting and filling up with jealousy; Daishou had told him about her once—Mika, maybe? He bubbled with negative emotions, and then suddenly he saw it: a pure, genuine smile broke out on Daishou’s face. 

The long-forgotten snake that was coiled around him squeezed again, and it was as if all the breath was knocked out of Terushima’s lungs. _No one_ besides Terushima was able to make Daishou smile like that, but here she was, making it seem as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do. 

He wanted to run, to leave, to get out of this situation as much as possible, but that’s not who he was; he was the person who was always optimistic and loved to face challenges. At least, that’s who people thought he was. He was just a scared boy who didn’t know how to handle his feelings. 

Before he could do anything, Daishou and his piercing glare, the one anyone could see across the court perfectly, met Terushima’s eyes and suddenly Daishou made the choice for him. Terushima smiled and waved as if nothing felt wrong and his heart wasn’t shattering to pieces. Saying goodbye to Mika, Daishou waved him over and then ran into the locker room to get changed out of his gross, sweaty practice clothes. 

He stood outside of the locker room doors, saying goodbye to everyone who acknowledged him on their way out. Daishou was the last to leave, making sure to lock up the gym as he left; locking the last door, Daishou shoved the key in his pocket, letting out a huff of breath. “Now that that’s done, We can go home!” He went to grab his bag but Terushima was already holding it. “Oh Teru-chan, you must have been so bored without me!”

Terushima laughed, lightly pushing his friend. “Oh, what could I _possibly_ do without you, Shou-chan? I sat alone and cried for two and a half hours, sitting in your bedroom and staring out the window, waiting for your return.” They snickered together over their sarcasm; as the laughter died down, Terushima noticed Daishou’s shirt. “Hey, when did you get that shirt? I don’t think I’ve seen it before.”

Daishou looked down and suddenly he looked like a kid who got a puppy as a surprise on their birthday. “It’s brand new! Mika-chan bought it for me, that’s why she was at practice today.” He held up a peace sign and stuck his tongue out. “Isn’t it cute?”

A pang of jealousy hit Terushima when he heard that name; as irrational as it was, it annoyed him that Daishou changed out of a shirt that he gave him into a shirt from that stupid Mika girl. He nodded his head and was silent for a few seconds until he built up the courage to ask Daishou, “So are you and that Mika girl dating or something?”

Daishou hesitated on his answer, which worried Terushima that he shouldn’t have even asked. As he was about to tell Daishou to forget it, he spoke up. “Well, we were for a bit awhile ago... maybe at the beginning of the year? I thought it was going okay, but then she dumped me! She said my heart just wasn’t in the relationship and I was too focused on volleyball and... other things.” The entire time he spoke he looked forward, making sure not to make eye contact with Terushima. “It was never anything too serious and it ended the same way as all the others; she just stuck around and became my friend, I suppose! It’s nice to have a change of pace like that.” 

Terushima tried to lighten the mood as they got closer to Daishou’s house. “Yeah, I get what you mean! Hana-chan, my team’s manager, and I are pretty good friends, although this was her last year of high school...” And, as fast as he tried to lighten the mood, the quicker he made it worse.

“Last year, huh.” Daishou glanced up at the sky, a sigh escaping his lips. “It doesn’t feel that way, you know. Graduating, going to university, giving up volleyball, it all seems surreal to me. I guess I’ve always felt like I was in your class, Teru-chan.” He turned towards Terushima and gave his a sad smile. 

Out of everything Daishou had said, one thing stuck in his mind—giving up volleyball. “You’re really going to give it up? What about playing for your university?” Terushima gave him a concerned look. 

“I think so, I mean... I’m too attached to the sport. We’ve been playing it for what, ten years?” Daishou let out a small, deprecating chuckle that sent shivers up Terushima’s spine and made him want to cry. “I mean, I don’t want to give it up. I love playing. I’m still going to give it my all tomorrow, because you can bet your ass I want that spot in nationals, but after that, I just don’t see a future. Volleyball has been the reason for all of my breakups and it’s ruining all of my relationships and friendships; sometimes I think we have to let things go, and for me that’s volleyball. There are a lot of things I have to give up to move on.”

Terushima’s grasp on the athletic bag’s strap tightened as he glared at the ground. He didn’t speak, didn’t have anything to say to Daishou; they started playing volleyball together, and saying that he wanted to quit volleyball felt like he was saying _I want to quit our friendship, Terushima._ They continued walking and Terushima’s body shook from anger, but he did nothing with it; he felt Daishou’s eyes on him waiting for something, _anything,_ but Terushima refused to lose his cool. He looked up, refusing to meet Daishou’s eyes. With words empty of sustenance, he spoke, “You’re so mature, Shou-chan. I’m too young to understand any of that adult stuff.” 

The only thing worse than the visible tension in the air was the deafening silence between the two boys. Neither spoke the entire rest of the walk to Daishou’s house, and even inside the silence between them was more potent than the smell of lilacs. Each conversation throughout the night felt forced and awkward, drifting between the lines of wanting to ignore the situation and wanting to bring it up. 

As the night drew to a close and Terushima, following Orochi, walked to the door to leave Daishou’s room, a quiet goodbye escaped Daishou’s lips. Without looking back at him, Terushima replied. “Goodnight, Shou-chan.” He stopped at the doorway, turned around and gave Daishou the biggest smile he could muster. “Kick some ass tomorrow.” 

The faintest shade of pink dusted Daishou’s cheeks, eyes wide with a surprised look on his face. He smiled, a real genuine smile that made Terushima’s heart fall out of his chest and onto the floor. “Thanks, Yuuji.” With that, Terushima turned back around and left for the guest bedroom, a giant blush across his own cheeks. 

Terushima entered the room that smelled of forget-me-nots, throwing himself face-first into his pillow; he was red up to his ears from both embarrassment and happiness. _He called me by my first name,_ He thought, giddy with excitement before remembering the hours of awkwardness before that. Restless throughout the rest of the night, Terushima was stuck between feelings of affection and sadness. 

The one thing that scared Terushima the next morning was how calm Daishou was acting; he got to sit on the bus with the Nohebi team, which felt more like a burden than a privilege. Terushima was surprised by how not only Daishou, but the entire team seemed to be at ease but not in a prideful way; they all seemed calm and confident, which painfully resembled Terushima’s own team a few weeks ago. 

He sat on the inside of the row next to Daishou, who had both earbuds in and gazed outside the window at the passing scenery. He caught Terushima staring and, giving him a soft smile, handed the boy one of his earbuds. _If this isn’t modern romance, I don’t know what is,_ Terushima thought, smiling and grabbing the earbud from his friend. The contentedness from Daishou’s kindness only lasted so long, however. 

Leading the Nohebi team into the gymnasium with Daishou at the front of the group brought up too many memories, too bitter and too familiar. Something inside of Terushima made him nervous as if he was leading Daishou and his team into some kind of trap that they wouldn’t be able to escape from. 

His heart had never beat so fast. 

Nonetheless they kept walking through the crowd of friends, family, and strangers to the first gymnasium; Nohebi was up against Itachiyama Academy and when Daishou and Terushima pushed open the doors to the gym, before them was a team that looked so professional and so _strong,_ with bleachers full of students cheering and screaming—if it weren’t for the young faces Terushima could have mistaken them for a college team. He glanced at Daishou to see his reaction, but Terushima had never seen his eyes so listless and full of fear.

As Nohebi went to warm up and left Terushima by himself, he wandered to the second gym where he found Kuroo and the rest of Nekoma against the Fukurodani team that Terushima had heard so much about because of their captain Bokuto who is one of the top aces _nationally,_ and suddenly Terushima felt so small. Bokuto was the kind of captain he wished to be, but the Miyagi prelims showed him that he wasn’t good enough to be on Bokuto’s level (and Terushima knew he probably never would be). As Kuroo saw him and waved, Terushima could only think _I hope Tetsu-chan is a better captain than me._

He walked over to Nekoma’s bench since they hadn’t started warm ups yet. Kuroo and Kenma, together like always, greeted him, introducing Terushima to the rest of their team. After retreating to go get volleyballs and start warm ups, Kuroo and Terushima were alone, talking loudly as usual. “Good luck, Tetsu-chan! I’m sorry I can’t watch this game, but I’ll watch the next one for sure!” Kuroo gave him a look that Terushima couldn’t quite read. 

“I see how it is, Daishou is more important than me, huh.” At Kuroo’s words, Terushima blushed, making the other laugh. “I’m kidding! It’s fine, honestly. No matter what happens in this game, we’ll get another chance, whether at nationals or battling for host representative.” 

Terushima touched his heart mockingly. “When did my little Tetsu-chan become so mature!” They laughed, but as it died in their breaths, Terushima became more serious. He held out a fist. “Do your best, Tetsurou.” 

With a proud smile mirroring Terushima’s, Kuroo held out his own fist. “Thanks, Yuuji.” With glowing smiles filled with fondness, they knocked their fists together as if it would make all of their troubles disappear. 

At least, that’s what they hoped. 

The thing that hurt the most was that Nohebi tried to hold on, tried to catch up. Two sets and they were done; they were defeated. Daishou, like the usual Daishou, refused to show how upset and discouraged he was by the loss; Terushima could read his eyes, but he saw no emotion in them for the first time. 

The only thing that hit harder than the first loss for Terushima was to see that Nekoma had lost, too. He had to sit by and watch as his two childhood friends battled for the spot at nationals, and it tore him up inside; he had to choose who to support, but it felt like his world stopped. He couldn’t just say “I want this friend to go to nationals instead of this one.” He couldn’t. 

Daishou was busy, so he couldn’t make the choice for Terushima. He wanted to run, far far away from the situation. _This isn’t simple,_ he thought. _Why can’t anything be simple for once?_

He sat in silence the whole game, too afraid one friend would see him cheer for the other and not himself. When the last point was made and he heard cheering and silence at the same time, his heart stopped. _Do I cheer? Do I stay silent?_ He did the one thing people would expect him to do and cheered his heart out, yelling things congratulating Kuroo and his team on going to nationals as the host representative.

As the teams retreated to their locker rooms, Terushima followed Nohebi and stood outside the doors, waiting for their meeting to finish and for Daishou to leave. One by one the team members exited the room red-eyed and puffy-faced, carrying their athletic bags and loss with them; after around half of them left, Terushima went inside to find Daishou. 

He walked slowly, searching for any sign of Daishou or his things; Terushima found him at the very end of the room, arched over his bag on the bench. As Terushima walked closer, he noticed that on top of the mess of clothes inside the bag laid his uniform. He touched the small of Daishou’s back as a sign of comfort, but the boy didn’t react in any way.

“Were these past three years,” Daishou clenched both of his fists. As he spoke, his voice began to rise. “Were they all for nothing?” The rest of the remaining Nohebi members looked at him. In response, Daishou merely lifted his eyes to glare at the rest, signaling them to leave him alone. 

He unclasped his hands, took a deep breath, and turned to look at Terushima; he tried plastering a smile on his face, but it was too obviously forced. “Ah, well, we did really good today, either way! It was fun being captain! Next time I see Kuroo, though, I’m going to have to beat his ass.” With each word Daishou spoke, the less realistic he sounded; it was as if all of the emotion drained from his voice each time he spoke. 

He tried to laugh, but it only sounded hollow. Terushima gave him a concerned look. “Shou-chan, are yo-” Before he could finish, Daishou cut him off.

“Guys, we better get going! We don’t want to miss the bus now, do we?” He gave another empty smile as he zipped up his bag, concealing his uniform. Terushima went to grab his bag like he always did, but for once in his life Daishou didn’t let him, grabbing the bag and carrying it himself. He walked away from Terushima without turning to look back at his friend; it wasn’t until Daishou was walking out of the door that Terushima followed, too stunned to react by getting the cold shoulder from the other. 

On the bus they sat in the same position, but this time there were no smiles or earbud-sharing. As the bus began to leave the building, Terushima couldn’t help but remember thinking the whole thing was a trap at the beginning, which seemed true now—it looked promising, but in the end it was meant to harm and kill the weakest animal that couldn’t escape. 

After the bus made it’s return to Nohebi and all of the members returned to the gym for the last time of the season, Terushima felt as if he was invading a private moment. The coaches made speeches about how well they did, how they can improve, and how proud they were of their volleyball team. Daishou made a short speech to everyone, thanking them for letting him serve as captain. Terushima stood in the corner where no one would see him; it was their moment—he’d already had his. 

After Daishou gave his speech, the team was dismissed, signalling the end to a volleyball season. People were free to go, yet they all stayed, not wanting to leave the current team behind. All of the third years shook hands, hugged and thanked each other for being their teammate. After their dispersal, Daishou looked to Terushima, starting to walk over to him and away from his team. 

As he began walking away from the crowd, Kuguri walked up to Daishou. “Daishou-senpai,” He said. After Daishou turned around, Kuguri bowed. “Thank you for being our captain!” Everyone turned to look in their direction, stunned. Kuguri never talked talked with emotion, never got fired up about anything—yet there he was, yelling with such fervor and respect that everyone followed suit. The rest of the members, including the rest of the third years, bowed in Daishou’s direction and repeated Kuguri’s statement in unison. 

Terushima didn’t know how Daishou would react, but suddenly, with eyes tearing up and smile full of honor and pride on his face, he bowed towards the rest of the team. “Thank you for supporting me!” Terushima wondered if his team would be like this when he left next year; he could only wish to be as respected by his team as Daishou is. _I don’t want to be a captain like Bokuto-san,_ Terushima thought. _I want to be as good of a captain as Shou-chan._

The walk home was not a fun time. There was silence— _a lot_ of silence. Neither wanted to speak up for over half the walk; it was dark and chilly and the only traces of light were from the moon and scattered street lamps. But with the sound of hesitance, Daishou spoke. “I’m sorry... about how I acted in the locker room after the game, and I’m sorry I treated you like shit the entire time afterwards. And I’m sorry that I’m not always a funny or kind or optimistic person and I’m sorry I hide my emotions a lot and I’m-”

Terushima cut him off. “Let me guess,” He said sarcastically. “You’re sorry about something else.” They breathed out their noses in laughter, but Terushima continued. “You don’t have to be sorry, Shou-chan; I know how hard it is—I was in your position a few weeks ago. It’s _hard_ , and I think when you’re a captain you’re expected to be strong in those times, but I think that’s the hardest part, you know.” Terushima crossed his arms, rubbing his shoulders as he shivered slightly in the cold. “I broke down when I got home and no one was there to cheer me up, so I’m glad I can be here for you.”

Daishou stopped walking and Terushima followed suit; they stopped beneath a street lamp, breath visible in the cold, autumn night. Daishou looked the other in the eyes, a hint of nervousness in his eyes. “I’m sorry for one more thing.” Terushima gave him a look of confusion. Suddenly, Daishou leaned forward, connecting their lips.

Terushima’s heart didn’t stop, nor did it beat faster than it already was. As fast as Daishou initiated the kiss Terushima returned it, moving his hands to Daishou’s hair as the other boy’s hands moved to Terushima’s hips. The kiss only lasted a few seconds and there were no sparks between them, but Terushima never really believed in that. Kissing Daishou felt familiar and filled him with warmth and made him blissfully happy so to him that’s all that mattered; sparks meant nothing to young unbridled love. 

When they pulled away from the kiss, both boys had smiles dancing on their lips. “You _definitely_ don’t have to be sorry for that,” Terushima said, laughing giddily from excitement. Unable to control his happiness, Terushima moved his hands from Daishou’s hair and instead pulled him into a tight hug which the other immediately returned.

Daishou rested his head in the crook of the other’s neck. “Thank god it’s mutual,” He said under his breath, but still loud enough for Terushima to hear him. “So like, you wanna date me?”

Terushima laughed. “Hell yeah!” They pulled away and realized each other’s cheeks were sporting similar blushes. _Thank god it was this simple,_ Terushima thought. They began walking again, but this time while holding hands. “This is cool. This is neat! I like you.” 

Daishou squeezed his hand a little tighter and Terushima walked closer to him, resting his head on the other’s shoulder as they walked. “Wow Teru-chan, I never thought you’d be the cuddly type,” Daishou said, snickering lightly. 

“Oh shut up,” Terushima said jokingly. “You’ve known that since our first sleepover; you’re not fooling anyone!” They laughed together the rest of the walk to Daishou’s house, making small remarks and teasing each other the entire way. As they approached the house, they separated, albeit reluctantly, as to not be seen by his parents.

Walking into Daishou’s house and talking to his parents about the game gave Terushima some time to think; he knew that there were still so many unanswered questions about his relationship with Daishou, and he also expected much wouldn’t change between them—he knew it would be a long time before Daishou could open up emotionally at any given moment. 

It was simple in the most complicated way. Getting together was easy, but Terushima knew the rest would be the hard part. After eating dinner they headed up to Daishou’s room, getting into their normal positions—Terushima sprawled on the bed and Daishou propped up against it. Orochi was already laying on the bed, immediately crawling next to Terushima and purring. Daishou went to grab a video game controller from the tv-stand and the other made a decision to not let his new boyfriend drown his sorrows in video games alone. “Hey, toss me a controller; you pick, I’ll play with you,” Terushima said, pushing away the newly-offended cat and rolling on the bed to be situated on his stomach. 

To no surprise, Daishou picked one of his Naruto games (Terushima couldn’t tell the difference between any of them). They played for an entire hour without Daishou making any of the usual annoying whines or temper tantrums he makes when he plays video games; that was a sign to Terushima that he was upset after talking to his parents about the loss.

Terushima moved from the bed to sit next to Daishou on the floor, who didn’t even glance at the sudden movement. They kept playing, which was just mashing buttons for Terushima. “Wanna talk about it?” Daishou paused the game and then looked at Terushima; he looked as if he had been awake for three days straight with dark bags under his droopy eyes. 

“At this point, ‘it’ could be so many things,” He started, his voice getting more distressed as he continued to speak. “It could be that I didn’t go to nationals, our relationship, the fact that Sasuke and Naruto are _clearly_ in love and Kuroo won’t admit it or the fact that you somehow keep beating me in this game!” 

“Okay, I’m ignoring the Naruto part,” Terushima said. “But do you want to talk about the other two things? I won’t pry.”

He hesitated, and then suddenly talked so fast he was barely understandable. “Okay so we clearly like each other and I know I asked you out but you’re leaving in like a week and I don’t know how hard it would be to keep a relationship with that sort of distance especially since I’m going to university soon and that will be even harder than this situation so I’m nervous about us not being able to handle it.” He took a deep breath. “And I don’t want to talk about volleyball.”

Terushima’s mind reeled with everything Daishou had said in such a short time. “Okay, we don’t have to talk about volleyball,” He said, grabbing the other’s hand. “To be honest, I was thinking about the distance thing, too. I mean, I think we can manage it since I already come to Tokyo a lot for you; I don’t see why I can’t just travel to a different place for you. The distance hasn’t been a problem for our friendship, so I don’t think it should be a problem for our relationship. ‘Sides, it’s just one more year until I graduate and we’ve always planned on going to the same university.”

Daishou gave him a small, knowing smile and squeezed his hand once. “You’d follow me just about anywhere, huh Teru-chan? I’m not worried if you’re not.” He looked at the television screen, then back at Terushima. “This game’s getting boring.” He turned off his console then jumped to the bed, scaring the cat off of it. “Dibs on being big spoon!”

Terushima followed him, crawling into Daishou. “Wow, I’m so touched! You put away boyfriend #1 for me!” He mocked, faking a tear on his face as Daishou wrapped an arm around him.

“Don’t be dramatic,” Daishou said. “You’ll _never_ surpass Naruto. But you’re a close second.” They talked together about nothing for a long time, Terushima trying to keep his boyfriend’s mind off of the volleyball game. 

After awhile the talk died down and the room had a newfound tranquil atmosphere. Terushima spoke, bringing up a question he’s wanted to ask for years. “Shou-chan, why does your house always smell like lilac? I don’t think I’ve ever stepped into your house and smelled anything _but_ lilac.”

Daishou shifted in the bed a bit. “My mom likes the smell a lot; she told me the meaning once... I think it means ‘first love.’”

Terushima chuckled. “Cliche.” Daishou slapped him lightly. “If your mom’s such a romantic, I wonder if that got passed down to you, hmm? You have your dad’s looks and intelligence, so you must have to have _something_ from your mom.”

Daishou snorted. “My dad’s _looks?_ I feel insulted; my dad isn’t very handsome.”

“You have his eyes, hair color, height and facial features, don’t lie to me,” Terushima said. “Besides, I think you’re very attractive.” Terushima scrolled through his phone applications aimlessly, but before Daishou could speak he added, “And no, I don’t think your dad is hot! Don’t say it.” 

Daishou’s chest deflated behind Terushima as if he was going to say that. “You ruin all of my fun, Teru-chan,” Daishou watched the other scroll through instagram, stopping to read a post by Kenma; it was a picture focused on the television with a blurry, unfocused Kuroo in front with the caption ‘post prelim video games.’ It didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would.

In the quiet of Daishou’s room two boys cuddled together as if it was the most natural thing in the world for them. Through the silence, Daishou spoke. “Thanks... thanks for being here. I don’t think I would have been this okay if you weren’t here.”

Terushima turned to face him, arms and legs tangled together. “Don’t I get some kind of reward then?” He gave Daishou a smile that could have brightened anyone’s day, full of love and affection for the boy in his arms.

“Since you asked,” Daishou said. He began kissing Terushima all over his face—cheeks, nose, mouth and the like. They giggled and bubbled, happy and innocent in their sweet, young love. _This might not be very simple_ , Terushima thought, _but I think I can handle it just fine._

**Author's Note:**

> it would be really cool if you guys could comment,, this isnt edited so if you see some grammatical errors point those out too thanks,,
> 
> follow my tumblr: tetsuruus  
> if you want more terushou fics, send me prompts!! I would love to write more about these dorks (no smut tho;; im too ace for that shit)


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